Writing this post feels a little bit like unfurling my wings after being in a cage that was slightly too small. My physical situation hasn’t changed much, but my mindset has been adjusted. This is Week 2 of a much deserved summer holiday and now I feel as if I can start to decompress and focus on actually relaxing!
We started lockdown for Covid 19 here on March 17th, 134 days ago. Since that day, I have been into work 4 days, socialised with friends 4 times, been out to the physical shops 2 or 3 times, and been out to the local park. For the rest of it, I’ve been inside. As someone who is introverted with indoor hobbies, this wouldn’t normally be much different from the regular plan, yeah? As it turns out, it’s quite hard to relax with a global pandemic, protests and the pressure of unplanned working from home.
I’m a primary school teacher, so converting what I do into an online format was tricky, but not impossible. I do maintain, though, that what I was teaching was emergency distanced learning, not proper online schooling. Even though I consider myself very tech savvy, I had no experience in recording lessons for the format we now had to work in. My colleagues and I had no Easter holidays, as we were urgently trying to convert our existing material into the online format, or even just straight-up rewriting curriculum from scratch to adjust to the ever-changing guidelines. I admit to sending one or two frustrated emails to our tech lead during this time, as I (what felt like) endlessly re-recorded lessons as the tech (or the user?) failed again and again. I am very grateful to have had my personal desktop to work from, as well as a work iPad to test material on.
The number one thing that I found hard about emergency remote teaching was communication and connection. In the before times, I would work at school alongside other teachers all day. We would discuss news and plans, compare notes and schedules, and figure out how things were running in our busy school. In this way, the regular work grumbles could be mitigated, by finding out how colleagues would be dealing with a problem, and the issue would often resolve by finding out more information. Remotely, I felt as if I was annoying people by asking for clarity (though I admit this is most likely my own perception, not the reality!), and often felt quite alone in the grand mechanisms of school. Despite regular work emails, I felt information-starved and anxious because a more detailed plan could not, due to the situation, be laid out. Luckily, I had a great support network in the form of my department and other work friends, even though it was via my phone and not in person.
Things that got me through:
- Great British Bake Off: Professionals – thank you Channel 4 for having this lined up
- Hamilton – so great to watch it up close!
- Life on Mars – one of my favourite tropes is time travel/alternate realities, so I really enjoyed this quirky cop procedural
- There was a new Queer Eye Season, that I binged so hard I can barely remember it.
- Indulging myself by buying new lounge/pajamas early on was definitely one of the best decisions I made!
- Joe Wicks helped me try some exercise, replaced by the super Ring Fit Adventure. Fitness is not usually my focus, but Ring Fit is the most fun I’ve ever had while exercising.
- Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream. I didn’t think I was an ice-cream person until lockdown. Wow.
- FINALLY started therapy again, it’s early days but I wanted to put it out there.
- Video Games! Red Dead Redemption 2 was an amazing experience. I’ve put a heck of a lot of time into Rimworld, Hitman 2 and Skyrim, as well as fooled around with some great games from the itch.io Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality.
Letting go of extra.
Regretably, my RPG work with children became extra. With the added pressure that online school put on me, as well as them, I found that it was just too hard to maintain the work required to keep sustained interest in the club. The status of the club, itself, became ambigious, we certainly were not required to keep clubs alive during remote, no other clubs were running and club registration had not happened during lockdown. Regardless, I floated a few ideas to keep the RPG club children engaged during the online term time, listed here in the most effective in terms of student-engagement:
- Online narrative RP in a shared Google Doc
- Recorded choose-your-own-adventure stories, where children voted to make decisions
- Discussion about RPG topics in Google Classroom
A good handful of kids engaged well with the narrative RP, it was closest to what they were familiar with (regular face-to-face D&D). I found it too hard to maintain on the hectic work schedule, so dialed it down. I did hear that a few kids have been playing D&D online via Zoom, which made my heart happy.
I had planned out an online RPG summer camp offering, with even a mocked-up timetable and pitch website, but let that go quietly as well. It was just using up too many spoons of energy to grow, and in hindsight I’m glad I was able to let it go before I did pitch it to management. Although the kids would have loved it, and I know I would have got enough parents buying in, I would have had to be working flat out during this holiday time. It felt quite selfish to put my own needs ahead of the RPG work, as I have been working so hard to establish the club at this school and had been bigger than ever prior to lockdown, but I genuinely could not maintain it with the right level of enthusiasm.
When I was approached by school for club offerings for September 2020, I regretably did not offer Quest Club. I did get a few sad emails from parents and children checking why it was not on the club list. As things stand, I cannot see regular school returning to normal by September, and even if it is, we will be in a new state of worry and work as we try to adjust to the new normal. Even without Covid, my school plans to trial a drastically adjusted timetable next year and, while I think it’s a good change, the shape of the day will be quite different. Additionally, the other member of staff who was involved in Quest Club has now left the school, so I would have to re-adjust how the structure of the club runs.
I felt really torn and uneasy about not continuing to offer the club, but I hope to take the term off as a chance to charge my own batteries a bit more, and then come back January 2021 with the RPG club back on the table. I might be able to bring a new system, and see if I can wean the kids off of D&D!